I'll admit to being a total control freak in my life. I run events for a living, how many event planners aren't control freaks? Patrice really helped me realize that there are ways to give up that control, in a good way. While speaking to her, I found and she found that when we spoke about the IVF process I immediately got tense. My shoulders began to creep up to my ears as we spoke about the process. I became jittery and anxiety swept over my body. I know that all the anxiety was coming from whether or not I felt like I had the strength to take on IVF. At the time, my husband Matt and I were on a much needed break from trying to get pregnant. I was feeling better, more myself and needed the break so that we could both figure out what the next steps were to be, what was in the cards for us.
For a while on the break, we didn't speak much about TTC (trying to conceive). I decided to have fun, make some cocktails and enjoy this time off. It was time to get us and our marriage back on track. However, the thoughts continue in the back of your head and you slowly start to talk about what's next. I had been reading (and still am I'm such a slow reader!) Living Life as a Thank you, The Transformative Power of Daily Gratitude which is a book of stories of people that live their life through thank you’s and how daily gratitude can change your perspective on life. I find this book to be so powerful for me, full of messages that you can read and re-read. What was just a book in the clearance section of Border’s has turned into something I don't want to finish because I find the stories to be so moving. I have found that we should be grateful for every day, for the small things and say thank you to our bodies, minds and anything, big or small. I've learned how to acknowledge when to be grateful and not letting those moments slip by. The feeling I got from this book made me realize that I am strong enough for the next step.
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I've spent a good part of the last half hour trying to get comfortable, something that over the past few days has become increasingly difficult. I can't sit, I can't stand, I can't lay down...all these positions are uncomfortable. It's the 8th day of injections, the first 5 days there were only two injections and then a third was added. The shots, something I was stressed and anxious about have been just fine. I thank Matt every day for taking control and taking the anxiety off me by doing the injections for me. The nightly ritual has been a nice way for him and I to be doing something pregnancy related together.
Aside from the uncomfortableness, I am also feeling like a human dart board. My arms are bruised up like a junkie on the street and my stomach has quite the array of red dots all over it. But so far so good I say, after each and every day. They say I need to go back in for an ultrasound and blood work (more holes in the arms!) tomorrow and that I may be just days away from retrieval. It's funny, after hearing that all I could think was "I only have a few days to get mentally prepared for that!" Yes, I thought I needed more than a few days to mentally prepare. I guess I should look at it differently, I may only have a few more shots left.
For a while on the break, we didn't speak much about TTC (trying to conceive). I decided to have fun, make some cocktails and enjoy this time off. It was time to get us and our marriage back on track. However, the thoughts continue in the back of your head and you slowly start to talk about what's next. I had been reading (and still am I'm such a slow reader!) Living Life as a Thank you, The Transformative Power of Daily Gratitude which is a book of stories of people that live their life through thank you’s and how daily gratitude can change your perspective on life. I find this book to be so powerful for me, full of messages that you can read and re-read. What was just a book in the clearance section of Border’s has turned into something I don't want to finish because I find the stories to be so moving. I have found that we should be grateful for every day, for the small things and say thank you to our bodies, minds and anything, big or small. I've learned how to acknowledge when to be grateful and not letting those moments slip by. The feeling I got from this book made me realize that I am strong enough for the next step.
______________________________________________________________________________
I've spent a good part of the last half hour trying to get comfortable, something that over the past few days has become increasingly difficult. I can't sit, I can't stand, I can't lay down...all these positions are uncomfortable. It's the 8th day of injections, the first 5 days there were only two injections and then a third was added. The shots, something I was stressed and anxious about have been just fine. I thank Matt every day for taking control and taking the anxiety off me by doing the injections for me. The nightly ritual has been a nice way for him and I to be doing something pregnancy related together.
Aside from the uncomfortableness, I am also feeling like a human dart board. My arms are bruised up like a junkie on the street and my stomach has quite the array of red dots all over it. But so far so good I say, after each and every day. They say I need to go back in for an ultrasound and blood work (more holes in the arms!) tomorrow and that I may be just days away from retrieval. It's funny, after hearing that all I could think was "I only have a few days to get mentally prepared for that!" Yes, I thought I needed more than a few days to mentally prepare. I guess I should look at it differently, I may only have a few more shots left.
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